Jack O'Leary
Consultant | Psychotherapist | Facilitator
Couples counselling

When the same conversations keep ending in the same place

Couples often seek counselling not because they have stopped caring, but because hurt, defensiveness, distance or repeated conflict has made it difficult to reach one another.

I work with couples to understand the pattern between them, slow down destructive cycles and create conditions for clearer communication, greater emotional safety and more deliberate choices about the relationship.

What couples counselling can address

  • Recurring arguments that never feel resolved
  • Criticism, defensiveness, contempt or emotional withdrawal
  • Loss of closeness, affection or sexual connection
  • Trust injuries, betrayal or uncertainty about the future
  • Parenting conflict and unequal emotional or practical load
  • Communication that quickly becomes reactive or unsafe
  • Major life changes, grief, illness or family pressure
  • Different needs for closeness, independence or reassurance
  • Considering separation, or trying to understand whether repair is possible
  • Wanting to strengthen a relationship before problems become entrenched
Method

Gottman Method Couples Therapy

My couples work is informed by Gottman Method Couples Therapy, a structured and research-informed approach that helps identify patterns associated with relationship distress and develop practical ways of responding differently.

This may include strengthening friendship and emotional connection, managing conflict more constructively, improving repair after hurt and building shared meaning. The framework is used thoughtfully rather than as a rigid formula, with attention to each couple's history, culture, circumstances and goals.

Focus

The relationship is the focus

Couples counselling is not about deciding who is right or appointing one partner as the problem. The focus is on understanding the cycle that develops between you, the needs and vulnerabilities underneath it and the responsibility each person can take for changing their part.

Beginning

Assessment and early sessions

Early sessions focus on understanding the relationship, the concerns that have brought you to counselling and what each partner hopes might change.

Depending on the circumstances, this may include joint and individual assessment conversations before agreeing on the most appropriate direction for the work.

Sessions are available in person across Northern New South Wales, the Gold Coast and Brisbane, and online across Australia.

Background
Counselling and psychotherapy experienceGottman Method Couples Therapy, Level 2 trainedRelational and trauma-informed practice

Either of you can make the first contact

An initial conversation does not commit the other partner to anything.

Arrange an initial couples conversation